A handy set of instructions

Here is a good idea.

First, you're going to want to travel Taiwan for two weeks.  Gorgeous.

Then, get home, I did it on a Wednesday, but be spontanious, choose any of the seven.  Next, wake up on Thursday morning feeling awful.  Feverish, a headache, dizziness, the works.  It's best if you feel really really terrible.  Now go to work.  You sure aren't going to enjoy it.  Have only three of the ten kids that are registered for your two hour conversation class show up.  Repeat these initial steps on Friday.  Now, Friday after school, go to the doctor.  If you're doing this right, your symptoms have suddenly downgraded themselves to a mild headache.  Feel silly telling the doctor how you were feeling two hours ago and fill his prescription for what is probably the equivalent of Advil.  Imagine the doctor thinks you're a wuss.  That evening, heat up to what feels like a thousand degrees, then suddenly become so cold your teeth chatter together.  Who's the wuss now doc?!

You're going to want to repeat this trend until Sunday.  Remember it's important in the moring to wake up from strange repetative and really annoying feverish dreams where people shout things at you over and over again.  Enjoy the lull that'll begin around 11am and last until anywhere between 8 and 11 pm.  Really think you're getting better, and start to feel guilty about not tackling any of the things you need to get done before school starts.  Once this starts to happen, you're going to want to have that fever come back and take a 30 minute shower, the hot water being the only way you can feel like there aren't icepacks stacked behind your ribcage. 

Now on Sunday, the small private doctors are going to be closed, so you'll want to go and take a cab to a hospital to try and get looked at.  This is important: DON'T PHONE AHEAD.

When you get there and everything inside looks closed, take a walk around.  When you find the admissions desk, ask if you can see a doctor.  When the ask you "emergency?" be sure and try your best to convey that you aren't an emergency.  She won't understand you, but it will help your concience when the emergency room doctor tells you that you aren't an emergency.  

When you get home, phone your co-teacher and explain to her that you need to go to the international clinic at the hospital and that only three kids have been showing up for your two hour conversation classes. 

Congratulations!  You've just gotten a sick day off work in Korea.

P.S. Don't worry Mom and Dad, I'm not dying.