I wish Billy Mays were here

My computer is being rebellious, so I restart it.  It is my only relaxing evening of the week and making the most of it means keeping reflection or complex thought well away, so I turn on the t.v. while I wait.  A man is demonstrating some sort of super paper towel in an infomertial.  That is to say, he must be demonstrating the super paper towel's competition, because as per the laws of infomertials it is doing atrociously.  The man is trying to clean his hand or something but only a smudge comes off.  He holds a new paper towel, or perhaps it is a napkin, in one hand and his other hand is closed in a loose fist.  The circle of his index finger and thumb are ringed with brown something.  He takes another napkin or tissue and places it against his hand and turns it upside down.  Perhaps he's pouring something out to display absorbancy.  He shows us the tissue all smudged again but he still isn't happy so this can't be the solution, wait he's opened the dirty hand and there is nothing in it at all.  Only his pointer finger and thumb are stained brown and... oh dear.

The man sticks his hand in a very nice toilet.  The bottom of the screen informs me that it's only 208,000 Won, which could very well be a good deal.  With the push of a button a stainless steel tube emerges from somewhere under the rim.  His hand simulating a dirty butt hole, the man smiles and shows us how effective the jet of water is at cleaning whatever his producers deemed the appropriate stand-in for shit. 

Oh Korea, how could you.  I was so young.

I was so young.